I am not alone when I say I died a thousand deaths in my 19 months in Vietnam, and a thousand more when I got home. What’s worse is knowing the American warriors in Iraq are living exactly the same way we did, yet they don’t even know it yet.

When we volunteered, and many of us did just that, we were clueless to the reality of what a bizarre impact we would be confronting when we returned home. Today’s vets are just now beginning to understand what their friends and neighbors are feeling about the carnage they see on the evening news, and the American people are just now beginning to look for people to question and maybe even blame for the bad news.

From within the context of being lead by an idiot commander and chief, it is all but impossible to separate ones self from the results of the stupid military decisions. On an individual basis, courage and compassion are common, but this gets lost in the pandemonium of bad leadership. Even today we Vietnam Veterans are commonly blamed for the Nixon fiasco. And down the road of history we will find the same scenario played out for the Iraqi Vets.

I volunteered and joined the Army, October 67. April 68 I volunteered for a tour in Vietnam. One year later I again volunteered for another 12 month extension to stay with my friends in the fight in Vietnam, and was made a sergeant in doing so. At that point in time I was very much like today’s soldiers, well trained, well equipped and a head full of motivation. There was no apparent lack of support coming from across the pond, life was good. By the 3rd quarter of 69 I began to see things much differently. The letters from home and my hometown local newspapers were telling a story of the war that I was not seeing.

This scenario is once again playing it’s self out with the this generation of warriors. Many of our finest believe they are involved with a situation that has the support of the American people and that they are working towards real valued and practicable goals. Unfortunately I see their war much as I saw the end in Vietnam. Today’s warriors are headed in the same direction the majority of the Nam Vets were headed at the time of our premature pullout from Vietnam. Many but not all of us were somewhat ready to deal with the anti-war sentiment that was becoming predominant at the time. Today’s Iraq vets are not ready at all. Their families and neighbors are somewhat helpful, but as a unified group they have no idea what the citizens of this country can dish out when their government has been less than truthful.

I see a VA psychiatrist a couple of times a month, (I am thankful, and I feel I benefit significantly), my doctor has talked to me about the self imposed trap the Iraq vets have been caught up in. And what he perceives is a dangerous mess that has been created making it all but impossible to really help these people. My doctor points to the rationale used to train up this small but fast combat ideal, and he states flatly that the elitist’s mindset may work well when everything goes perfectly. But this same mindset will be a detriment to the individuals who are hurt following structured orders that fail. When one is part of an elite group, and this group fails just like any group can, the negative side of the problems is way more significant on the group as a whole than those who come from regular combat units.


To conclude I want to say, the vets coming home from this war are going to require our thoughtful patients on levels we’ve yet to give much thought too. From their perspective they believe in their hearts that they have been through much worse than any veterans from any previous wars. Up until this past year I volunteered to help with the PTSD/ADD groups at our regional VA Hospital. So far the Iraq vet PTSD groups have refused to allow anyone who did not serve in Iraq to participate in these groups. I believed they could benefit from my experiences of being confronted by the “baby killer” mindset that freely flowed through our peers after coming home from a tour in Vietnam. Hopefully they won’t catch it like many of us did, but I don’t think the individuals or the VA is taking this into consideration and I see trouble on the horizon as we see some of these great people try and readjust back into society.

You are absolutely right, VF, and I'm seeing these effects already, as are many others in the mental health community. I hope that these insular groups will choose to see the potential benefits of including you older vets, so as to gain from your perspectives.

I have a friend who got home from Iraq about 6 weeks ago. He has PTSD. Nightmares, shakes .........wakes up in a cold sweat. He is home for 7 mos then he goes back. As he explained his adrenaline level was always ON in Iraq as he was the gunner in the front vehicle. He's back and cannot turn it OFF. He said it wasn't fighting the enemy that got him as much as he cannot shake the images of the dead, tortured and mutilated bodies of civilians by insurgents and opposing sects. Especially disturbing the women and children. He's struggling. I am thinking of him now. We can push for better care while in and out of the service. Push for funding in the VA hospitals. They were there for us and we must be strong enough to be there for them now.

Amen.

I’ve had another discussion with our chief psychiatrist at our Mental health ward at our local VA Hospital. For a second time I’ve been told that we Vietnam Vets would not be able to relate to the kinds of powerful incidents our Iraqi vets felt were so commonplace. The kind of trauma that has brought them to the decision to pursue treating their PTSD. It is their feelings that we older vets would not be able to relate to their kind of horror in their kind of combat.
I am finding some dissent amongst a few the treating Doctors. The Doctor I see agrees that some of these soldiers and marines would benefit immensely from understanding victims of PTSD from the past. I was told he tried to have a highly decorated Korean War vet, who has lived with PTSD all his years was rejected by the Doctors in charge of the Iraq vets at their request. They stated the same responses quoted to me as reason for us to not participate. Their reason being that we could not have seen carnage on any level that approaches what they were seeing.
I plan to keep after it. It is my believe that what many of us older vets have to offer is as valid today as it ever was. The point being missed is the part where many of us have lived through 3 decades of being PTSD, and for the most part with no help what so ever. From that point alone I think I can offer a lot of help in dealing with being trapped with ones inner demons, especially over a long period. Some of us have done well, some can still be found in homeless shelters or out living on the streets, a direct result of living with PTSD and not receiving the appropriate help.
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